*Turn to them when you’ve had a bad day.
*Be specific in your compliments.
*Always be their teammate, not more competition.
*Open the door.
*Tell them you believe in them. Applaud who they want to be and are becoming and don’t prey upon their insecurities.
*Laugh with them.
* Smile when you see them.
*Remember details about them that they’ve shared in confidence.
* Keep their confidence, have secrets between just the two of you. Establish trust.
* Less texting to share feelings and more talking face to face which takes greater courage.
* Point out what they do well.
* Be their biggest cheerleader, not their critic.
*Always have their back in group conversations, even if you don’t agree.
* During arguments, turn toward each other. Even if it’s just to hold each other until you can make sense of your feelings. Don’t run away.
* Brag about them to others even when they aren’t around.
*Be willing to wait until they are ready – to talk, to share, to move forward, etc.
*Ask them to teach you something that they are proud of accomplishing.
*Remember their full name.
*Show appreciation for the little and big things that they do.
*Listen. Show you understand what they are going through by repeating some of what they’ve said back to them.
*Set goals together.
*Be kind.
* Never point out flaws in public, and in private, focus on their positive qualities and build those up.
* Just be together. Whether you are working in the yard together, reading the evening papers or simply just being, let the hours pass being in each others’ company. Much comfort can be found.
*Let them know that they are enough. Life is full because they are in it.
*Make their favorite meal, snack or drink.
* Leave unexpected notes just because.
* Offer to help before they ask.
* Spend time together just the two of you.
* When you tell them you love them, look into their eyes. Say it sincerely, not out of habit.
* Place your hand on the swell of her back when escorting her to the car, into the restaurant, across the street, etc.
*Respect their passions. Try to understand and learn more about them (you don’t have to like their passions, but try to understand why they do.)
* Celebrate when they reach small or big milestones toward their personal or professional goals.
* Let your actions mimic your words.
* Give a hug just because you want to be close to them.
*When you say you’ll do something, do it.
*Arrive on time.
*Never let them feel like the third wheel whether with friends, family or when meeting co-workers.
*Experience things together without others’ involvement to build trust, establish more intimacy and gain a clearer understanding of how each other handles various situations.
* When they’re wrong, don’t point it out. Let it go. Or simply say, “You may be right,” especially on minor things that don’t matter.
* Let them vent without judgment.
* Brush their hair out of their eyes or off their face.
*Take photos together and print and frame them to give to them as a gift.
*Tell them more than they expect to be told about work, friends, family, etc. Foster the feeling of inclusion, instead of exclusion.
*Call just to see how their day is going.
* Be their safe place, their rock, their #1 fan. Let them know that the relationship (and thus they) are your top priority as you create a life together, letting go of some of your old life that doesn’t foster that priority.
The Simply Luxurious Life
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